Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Elle post #5

Hope your feeling better Elle!

Ok so here is the thanksgiving blog I'm sure you have all been waiting for. I must warn you, some of it will be a "too much info" part, but I will be sure to warn you. Proceed with caution.
I had a decent weekend actually. Friday's diet was blown when my best friend invited me out for lunch. We went to the ashburhnam ale place on hunter street. We talked about our weight loss, she has lost 50lbs just by going gluten free. Anyways, I noticed she was dressed up when she got in my car. It was all an illusion, and she told me she just had on a shitty shirt with leggings. It seemed dressy because she had boots on. WOW! I now wanted some of these leggings. So we went to stitches after sucking back lunch and large carmel mocha's from starbucks.
The great part about this shopping trip, was everything was buy one get one half off. Plus the leggings were onlyl $10 to start with. Though I don't think the leggings were part of the BOGO sale. Anyways, so I tried on these leggings that appeared to be jeans ( back pocket and buttons made them seem like jeans.) So I try them on and decide I'm probably one of those people who shouldn't wear leggings. Just because I can get them on doesn't mean I should have them on. My legs looked fat especially with these pants that were practically painted on me. My best friend would never lie to me, so she said to put on one of her boots. The magic is in the boots. OK so I put it on. WOW! I immediately had one skinny leg. I put on both boots and had 2 skinny legs. Holy shit, the boots some how make you look skinny. So I bought 4 pairs of leggings and then went to sears to buy boots that were also half off. I felt great in these new clothes. I felt skinny, and sexy and like I was on top of the world. But that's probably where this happy story ends.
Thanks to the fantastic food I consumed the first couple days of thanksgiving weekend, I was up to almost 151lbs (up from 148) No biggie I thought. I went into thanksgiving dinner on sunday night prepared to eat until I wanted to die. And I did. I ate all the shit I stopped eating. Potatoes, gravy, deserts etc. I stuffed myself until I was sick. That was sunday.
Monday morning, my mom did thanksgiving brunch. I had been craving pancakes for days. So I ate 4. and a large piece of peameal on a croissant. then 2 more croissants and a tea buiscut. And hashbrowns, and fruit. Then I went home. No dinner for me that night but my fantastic boyfriend, who we will call Donald for the sake of this blog, decided just before dinner time he wanted cookies. Fine, whats a little more junk this weekend? So we both polished off a row of cookies each. No biggie. I was beyond full. Not only was I now accustomed to eating smaller, very healthy meals, but I had spent 3 days over eating and eating too much unhealthy stuff.
We are now at the too much info, proceed with caution part. Donald goes and takes his 4th shit for the day. I mention that it must be nice seeing how irregular I am. I mention that Im going to get some prune juice to help move things daily. I have been drinking tons of water which is supposed to help this stuff, but I guess my bowels are just too stubborn. I had read online that not pooping every day slows down weight loss and that some ones' doctor said that we have like 30 feet of intestines that will fill with poop. Holy shit eh? I cant imagine having a total blockage like that.
Anyways, so we are watching The Firm on dvd before bed. Good movie for an oldie from the walmart $5 bin. My stomach was now so full from everything I had ate, that I complained to Donalld that my stomach was protruding like I was super pregnant, and I seriouslyl just needed to puke. I cant say I know anyone who has ever puked from eating too much. I started getting hot flashes ( I am ALWAYS cold, so this is how I know I am getting sick with a cold or something) Donald is like maybe you have to shit? I told him my stomach hurt from over filling with food, it was upper pain, not shit pains. So because I actually ffelt like I was going to be sick I go into the bathroom and managed to shit. I felt way better. But still felt on fire. So I went back to my room and sat with my garbage can in front of the open window because I was on fire. Of course I start puking but managed to get it into the garbage. Donald hid behind the blankets laughing at me. Great eh? I felt ok, so I brushed my teeth and got back into bed and we watched more movie.
As if the fuckign hot flashes didn't start again. Off to the bathroom I go again. And let me tell you what I experienced was horrifying. I was so sick, that I had the most explosive shit the world has ever seen. It was like Van Wilder, when they give tara reids boyfriend the colon blow and he shits in the garbage can in his job interview. Only mine was 10000000 times worse. Except I was still puking and managed to puke all over my bathroom floor. Donald was realizing that this shit was serious. Because there was more puke coming, I flushed the shit and put my face in the toilet and puked to the point where I was actually dizzy and starting to fade away. I felt another huge shit coming so as I got up to get back on the toilet it just exploded out of me again, but so intensely it actually ran down my leg, as I puked on the floor. Donald comes into the bathroom to check on me and says " holy fuck babes". I was a hot mess. Don't judge was all I could say. And get me a drink of pop, I feel dizzy from low sugar levels. He's outside the bathroom yelling 'its those vitamins, throw them out they aren't good for you' blah blah. My response was "fuck off and get me the pop" No, the detoxing greens, gallons and gallons of water had finally cleansed my system and pushed 30 feet of intestinal blockage out. This is seriously the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me. And I share it with complete strangers because I guess the moral of the story is when you aren't used to eating big meals, don't even try. It starts as a good idea but it is not. And make the prune juice plan BEFORE it gets too bad. I hope the people reading this have had a good laugh at the expense of my complete mortification.
SO I guess what you really want to know is this: Overnight, I managed to puke and shit myself back to 148lbs. Or I had 3 lbs of shit built up in my intenstines. Equally sick. The pictures are from this morning after my night of mortification. I am going out to get prune juice after Dinner.
I also decided that to jump start some more weight loss (it seems to have pateau'd) I am going to change things up with my diet. Im going to keep doing my suppliments, but for breakfast I had fruit, for lunch I got stuff to make veggie pitas (1/2 pita is 2 pts) and Im ging to have a full pita with meat and cheese as well as veggies (this may be 10 pts is my guess? (4 pts for full pita plus 3 or 4 pts for both cheese and meat?) Either way the healthier meal choices should jump start me again. I will still eat fruit (0pts) during the day if I need more food or can have a 2 pt shake. But my dinner's just wont be a free for all
Until next time!

PS: The stomach "bum" is way less droopy now. I don't know if it was the wraps or the defining lotion. But either way im super pleased that its almost gone from the side view.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear Elle is feeling much better today! Want to become part of a 3 month wellness challenge? Contact Me at info@heather-lynn.ca and we can get your started today!